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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

sad vs. happy

for the last weekish, i've been feeling blue. not up to much. not returning phone calls. in my cave. pretty sure it's hormonal. the pmdd monster was at my door last week. this week, he's sitting on my sofa. this morning, i cried at a playdate. who the hell cries at a freakin playdate? it was a super fab one at that...faux camp out..with a tent and everything...grilled hot dogs and smores made with the love of the sun. i was sitting on my friends kitchen floor. crying.


i just found out that my scarab tat symbolizes good luck and happiness. hellooooo i have happiness tattooed to my BODY!!!! my dear friends were so compassionate, and Mia is so lovely and easy today. my husband is super sweet and will shift his pool night, if needed so i can go to drum class. my food consumption today included smores, hot dogs, watermelon and a corn dog. oh, try explaining what a corn dog is to a 2 1/2 year old...that'll make ya smile. 'but that is NOT corn, mama'.

what's funny...kinda...is that i've had a freakin rough summer so far, and i haven't cried. at all. i've even TRIED to cry. nothing. until i'm sitting on the kitchen floor of a playdate. for a silly reason. i cried. i wanted to let it loose and bawl like a baby...but i'll save that for my husband. for some reason he likes when i cry....he says i always feel better, he feels like he can actually comforting, and my eyes turn a gorgeous shade of bright blue :) so, the lil waterworks at the playdate this morning did in fact release a lot of crap...


i feel better....kind of happy :)

9 comments:

Seeking Sara said...

I am sorry to see that you had a hard day today, but I am so glad you had the mamas there to support you. Glad to hear it helped. Much love to ya mama!

Stephanie said...

I'm sorry you are feeling out of sorts. I'm glad my hugs made a little positive impact on you. I love you, babe.

Anonymous said...

Hey Tanya! love reading your blog, but today was sad! Hope you are feeling better! A beer will help! love gale

Andrea said...

I hate when I get in my blue funks. Doesn't happen often, but it feels like caca when it does.

You're also lucky to have a hubby that likes when you cry to him. Most men don't know what to do with that.

Gina said...

Hi, thank you for stopping by at my blog. It's nice reading your posts, very real that in some ways I can realte it to my own daily ordeal.

anja said...

sweet tanya.i'm so sorry you're feeling this way, hugs and kisses to you sweet angel.

Aidan's Mama said...

There is a depression virus going around, I swear. I've been hiding in my cave too.
I love you, mama. Hey, maybe we can get an exercise playdate together for all the funky feeling mamas. I know I need it.

jw said...

yes!! I need a funky playdate Christen, lets do it!!
Love you Tanya!

Anonymous said...

(Heather P from OM) I think it's a really good sign that you were able to cry. I had "major depression" for about five years, and I went about several years without crying --ever-- I just seemed incapable of it. I remember all the sudden one day I just started crying about everything. It felt out of control, but it was the beginning of feeling like a real person again. I hope things look up for you, Tanya.